I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
