Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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