there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
pop tarts are not kleenex
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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