He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
