You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
