margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
