it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
