I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
