I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
