so that wasnt chicken after all
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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