You really coming over, don't trick.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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