I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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