dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
