So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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