You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This girl is more easily done than said...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
