can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
