Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We talked him into tasing himself.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
