I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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