i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
