Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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