I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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