I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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