His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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