The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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