I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
