They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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