yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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