he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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