problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
