I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
