i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
