if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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