He is such a slut. More and more my type.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
