I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
