Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
