Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
