Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
