i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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