You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
