You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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