So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
