No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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