You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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