he puts the penis in happiness.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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