Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
