: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
