we're blogging at a bar
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
