it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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