Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
