just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel like abortions should bother me more
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
